R.J. Grunts^®

Back To School Double Smash BurgerTwo all beef patties with melted American cheese on a potato bun, topped with lettuce, tomato, onion and 1000 island dressing18.95

Why I Re-invented The Salad Bar By R.j. GruntAfter many, many, many, many years of watching your failed attempts at a salad, I've found that some of your concoctions are quite disgusting, and frankly have gotten on my nerves. I mean come on, Broccoli-Cheddar Soup as a dressing? Flicking Garbanzo Beans across the room? Picking up Jell-O with your bare hands? Well now, welcome to my newest creation–the Digital Chopped Salad Bar. I don't know how my chefs did it, but they somehow fit the salad bar into your phone. Alas, the future has arrived. Come on and take a byte.16.95

HamburgerJuicy chopped sir-loin served on a sesame bum escorted by a heaping portion of cottage fries, a very dull pickle16.95

CheeseburgerAbsolutely the same as the above forementioned with one extremely gooey exception. You guessed it. CHEESE! Want the works? Just ask!16.95

GruntburgerThe cosmic cornerstone of culinary karma. Carefully hand crafted with fried onions, blue cheese & all that other stuff.16.95

Bacon CheddarburgerTake a juicy cheddar cheeze burger & top it with a rasher of maple-cured bacon & there you have it. Simple, refined, elegant... Sooooeee!!!!17.95

Turkey BurgerThis burger is no chicken when it joins up with tomato, lettuce, and Swiss cheese to fight for freedom, justice, and mayonnaise.17.95

Patty MeltDo you ever get a craving for one of these? Maybe it's the rye bread, or the sautéed onions, or the gooey American cheese... Or maybe it's just Patty.16.95

Veggie BurgerFake out your mouth and stick to your diet all at the same time. Topped with pepper jack cheese, lettuce, tomato, & salsa all on a honey oat wheat bun.14.95

Mr. ChickenA fowl homage to Joe & Dom at Mr. Beef. Sliced roasted chicken, au jus, with grilled peppers, provolone cheese, giardiniera.14.95

Improved & New Tuna MeltHoly cheddar cheese Batman! They take challah, a pile of tuna salad & tomato, then they add a gooey slice of cheddar cheese.14.95

Grilled CheeseThe cheesiest sandwich on the menu. Make it "Deluxe" with the addition of bacon & tomato for $1 extra.10.95

French Dip EnigmaStarts out credibly enough w/tender roast beef, au jus, horse- radish sauce & a side of marl- boro onions. But here's what's so totally confounding, it's served on italian bread!15.95

Triple Decker Turkey ClubFor those who would rather eat a turkey club than belong to one. Sliced turkey breast, lettuce, tomato, bacon, & mayo on toasted challah.16.95

Chicken TendersServed with two profound dipping sauces; BBQ & Ranch. Or jack them up and ask for Buffalo style. Either way it's $17.9517.95

R.j.'s WingsYou choose from Buffalo, Spicy Hot or Tangy BBQ. We serve it w/ your choice of ranch or blue cheeze & celery whether you like it or not. 8 wings16.95

California WrapA west coast treat featuring crispy chicken, lots of chopped bacon, cheddar, avocado, lettuce, tomato & Flying Lizard Ranch dressing.15.95

Santa Fe WrapAl pastor aka "shepherd style" marinated chicken cinched up w/ pico de gallo, pepper jack cheese, guacamole, chipotle mayo and lettuce.15.95

Buffalo WrapImagine our buffalo wings with lettuce, tomato and bleu cheese all in one colossal tortilla... boneless of course I learned my lesson.15.95

French Onion SoupOur own home- made onion soup covered with crunchy croutons & melted cheezes.8.50

R.j.'s Famous ChiliHonored in 1979 as Chicago's best chili and I have been too slack to try to improve it ever since. Served w/cheddar & diced onion.7.95

Vegetarian ChiliThe answer my friend is blowing in the wind7.95

Pickle Fries2 thousand years of civilization $ it's all come down to fried pickles.9.50

Nachos NirvanaPreviously known as "The Great Pile O'Food," this nacho fabrication is built up with masses of chips, chili, guaca- mole, cheeze, pico de gallo, sour cream $ salsa.14.50

Buffalo NachosWe take nachos & cover them with chopped Buffalo chicken. psst... If you want to sound like an insider ask for "BUFF-CHICK-NATCH!"15.50

Potato SkinsA dear Fred of mine told me never to waste anything, so here we are. Served with a bacon & onion sour cream dip and salsa.10.95

Baby Back RibsWe take dry rubbed all-nat-ural pork ribs and slather them in my super secret sauce and served with slaw & a pile of french fries. The cost? A mere $27.9527.95

Fish & ChipsFries are called chips in commonwealth nations and here we call Chips fries – makes sense if you don't think about it. Beer battered Icelandic cod, cottage fries, tartar & cocktail sauce.18.95

Chicken FajitasThin tender cuts of chicken sautéed w/ peppers & onions make up this tex mex favorite. Served with a side of Sante Fe rice, Guacamole, Salsa & a pile of warm our tortillas. Make 'em steak add $721.95

Cedar Planked SalmonI was going to reside my house but this seems like a better use of my old cedar planks. Maple dijon glazed and served with grilled asparagus.23.95

Cottage Fries4.50

French Fries5.50

Sweet Potato Fries6.50

Merkts Cheddar Cheese Sauce2.95

Cole Slaw3.95

Mac & Cheese6.95

East SideBeefeater London Dry Gin, Cucumber, Mint, Lime10

Dry Gin MartiniBeefeater London Dry Gin, Reserva Blanco Vermouth, Orange Bitters10

Dirty Vodka MartiniBasic Vodka, Extra Dry Vermouth, Olive Brine10

CosmopolitanBasic Vodka, Combier Liqueur D'orange, Lime, Cranberry10

Hanky PankyBeefeater London Dry Gin, Fernet Branca, Rosso Vermouth10

Amaretto SourAmaretto Lazzaroni, Lemon, Lime10

Old FashionedOld Forester 100 Bourbon, Sugar, Bitters10

Gold RushOld Forester 100 Bourbon, Lemon, Honey10

NegroniBeefeater London Dry Gin, Campari, Rosso Vermouth10

MargaritaOlmeca Altos Plata Tequila, Combier Liqueur D'orange, Lime10

Cuban DaquiriDon Pancho 4 year rum, lime juice, cane syrup10

Sprecher's Award-winning Root Beer6.50

Bacon & Egg Sandwich2 scrambled eggs topped w/bacon and gooey American cheese on challah. There's a yolk in there somewhere.12.95

3 Egg BreakfastWant a 2 egg breakfast? No problem just ask the person to your left to eat one. Served with chicken sausage or bacon, hashbrowns & toast.12.95

Ham & Cheese Omelette^gfBeaten and fried eggs care- fully folded around diced Polish ham & American cheese. Served with our golden hash browns.12.95

Spinach And Feta OmeletteAgain, take those poor eggs and fold 'em around spinach and feta cheese, then Served with hash browns. Just egg whites? Sure add $112.95

Thick-cut Challah French ToastWe drive once a week to Northern Vermont to pick up their delicious maple syrup! If only there was an easier way? Plus, whipped butter.12.95

Breakfast Burrito GrandeYou ever get so lazy all you want is breakfast in a tube? Well, this is the next best thing. Loaded with bacon, some cheeses, scrambled eggs & pico de gallo. I see a bed in your future. Ask about crunchy style!12.95

Build Your Own OmeletteYou create it, we make it!12.95

Pancake Breakfast Sandwich2 scrambled eggs, bacon, American cheese between 2 flapjacks... and my mother told me to stop playing with my food! With hash browns and Maple Syrup14.95

Belgian WafflesOriginally called Brussels Waffles, they changed the name to avoid any sprout of confusion... Fresh berries, powdered sugar, butter & maple syrup.12.95

Grunts Bacon^gf4.50

Chicken Sausage4.50

Toast3.50

Hash Browns4.50

Cheesy Buffalo Hash Browns6.50

The Black CowRoot Beer and vanilla ice cream or try it with lo-cal root beer & frozen yogurt. MOOOOOOOOO...9

Hot Fudge SundaePeople always try & dress this one up by adding candy & fruit (really?). I like to keep it simple... A couple scoops of vanilla ice cream, hot fudge, whipped cream & a cherry on top!Small 6.50Large 8

Giant Malts & ShakesChocolate, strawberry, vanilla, pineapple, coconut, banana, raspberry, oreo, caramel, peanut butter, coffee, dreamsicle. Name your flavor or combo7.95

Healthy Malts & ShakesAs above, made with low-fat yogurt and skim milk all for just.7.95

Cookie In A BowlA giant chocolate chip cookie right out of the oven, topped with vanilla ice cream & hot fudge.Half 6.50Full 10

Cookie In A Bowl: The SequelJust like the first one but with less plot holes and exposition. Made with a cinnamon sugar cookie & Gooey caramel sauce.Half 6.50Full 10

East SideBeefeater London Dry Gin, Cucumber, Mint, Lime5

Dry Gin MartiniBeefeater London Dry Gin, Reserva Blanco Vermouth, Orange Bitters5

Dirty Vodka MartiniBasic Vodka, Extra Dry Vermouth, Olive Brine5

CosmopolitanBasic Vodka, Combier Liqueur D'orange, Lime, Cranberry5

Hanky PankyBeefeater London Dry Gin, Fernet Branca, Rosso Vermouth5

NegroniBeefeater London Dry Gin, Campari, Rosso Vermouth5

Amaretto SourAmaretto Lazzaroni, Lemon, Lime5

Old FashionedOld Forester 100 Bourbon, Sugar, Bitters5

Gold RushOld Forester 100 Bourbon, Lemon, Honey5

Cuban DaiquiriDon Pancho 8 Year Panama Rum, Simple Syrup, and Lime Juice5

MargaritaOlmeca Altos Plata Tequila, Combier Liqueur D'orange, Lime5